Firstly, hats off to Roya as I had nothing to do with planning this once in a lifetime excursion. She even sweet talked the price down from $100 to only $40/head! I think she’s stealing a few trick plays outta my playbook…
Secondly, I wish I possessed the creative writing skills to do this journey any sort of justice, but that’s not happening so why not give it a go, right? With all the potholes and bricklike seats on this bus ride to Belize City, perhaps my fingers will magically float to some crafty new heights.
Not knowing what Orange Walk had in store for us, we were slow to get out of bed after a full day of travel. And by slow, imagine two pancakes being peeled from the mattress and you’re closer to imagining the way we rose from our slumbers. After locating our faces, we found our way to the pickup location where 10 other adventurers corralled around the coffee pot to prep for what was in store.
As soon as he introduced himself, I knew our boat guide was the real deal. A true Mayan descendant, Albierto was sensationally proud of his people and everything about his character showed it, from his body language to his tonality. “Don’t worry miss, the crocodiles are vegetarian,” he says as the last lady that skittishly hops aboard… “and by that I mean they eat vegetarians!” This was our type of river guide.
Knowing it was a guided tour, I was expecting a mellow troll and then…….ziiiiiiiippppppp! We were cruising at 30mph, whipping through a tropical jungle wonderland, wide eyed and full of anticipation. With laser like precision, we’d stop every 1000-3000m and Albierto would spot an exotic life form so discrete you’d think he’d paid a crew to place it there before the trip started. From giant orange iguanas, crocodiles, and… wait for it….wait for it…I hope you’re not trying to save any bananas, cause it’s MONKEYS!
Yup, we chilled with a real, living, breathing, spider monkey. Holy shit this was awesome (sorry mom, this needed the swearing effect cause it was that bad ass). This little fella not only hopped onto our boat, but he went person to person to ask for nana donations. Just take note of his body language when he discovers Roya already ate her banana! I almost lost my shorts. It’s as if he’s saying “hey, and what about you? Where’s your toll payment? I climbed all the way down from my tree, and this is what I get?!” Haha, what a sassy little chimp, eh?
Once docked at the real gem of the trip, the crew unpacked a spectacular Belizean meal, homemade by Albierto’s wife and kids. Spicy chicken, marinated for 24 hours in a creole paste, with fresh plantains, rice, beans, and the hottest damn habanero/onion dip your brain can imagine (Webgreek guys, think dave’s insanity meets shricaha, meets Dalsim fire. You love it, but it gives ya a beat down). After lunch, I’m not only fired up (literally) for the hike towards the Mayan relics, I’m thinking to myself “how much can I tip Albierto to make him understand how incredible this tour is? The answer? Priceless.”
The so called hike was much shorter than we expected, which was FINE by me after the bout with the habanero sauce. A mere fifteen minutes later, we were at the base of the first of three Mayan sites. It was marvelous, and we were only seeing the top 3rd. As Albierto explained, after a Mayan ruler passed, the following ruler was expected to erect a new exterior over the top of the existing structure. When archeologists first arrived at the site in the early sixties, their foremost mission was to dig beneath the surface in order to uncover the second layer of each structure and then the third, which is what we see today.
The most impressive of the three buildings was the “centre” which overlooked the royal chambers and court of the world famous game, Pok-ta-Pok. If this doesn’t ring a bell, please watch the video and you’ll quickly come to realize that even our most extreme sports can’t hold a candle to this game.
Roya and I had a ball taking pictures all over the plot, but the vast majority were taken with our Canon so we’ll load those upon our return. For now, I’ve uploaded a few pics from the iPhone to quench your thirst (thank you Brandon…you’re a gentleman and a scholar for letting us take the 5D for a spin).
After the tour was over, we situated ourselves for the ensuing early departure (have yet to sleep past 8am yet…#winning) and then strolled down to our local hot spot, Nahil Mahtab. Six premium drinks, an appetizer, and two killer entrees ran us a grand total of $30 US dollars. Try beating that back home!
Amongst all the great things we’ve experienced, I must say this town was the most unsafe. I was sure to give Roya a hooded shirt and was constantly forced to move her to my side of least danger as we made our way back to the hotel. Whether it be the town drunk or some bum on the flats, all of the low life would see a beauty like her and come stumbling like a drunken magnet. No joke, I went to the local hardware store to look for a switch blade before leaving…
All prepped for our bus in the morning, we passed out to the movie “The Cove,” which if you haven’t seen, I highly recommend. It’s tough to take, but paints a vivid picture of the atrocities Japan is committing in the aquatic ecosystem.
Patrick, signing out!
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